A letter to my daughter: on boys and men

I want you to be happy.
I want you to be happy now.
I want you to be happy tomorrow.
And more than anything, I want you to be happy when you’re all grown up.

I love you.
I love you as best I can.
Someday, it will be time for someone else to love you too.
To love you in ways I can’t.
To love you, long after I am no longer here.

You are only six yet I often imagine your wedding day. I picture you, a radiant woman, walking down the aisle. I picture myself, sitting in the front row, tears streaming down to my beaming smile, my hand holding tight to your father’s hand. We are sad. We are happy.

I cannot see the face of The One waiting for you by the altar but I know exactly who I want him to be. I want him to be a MAN.

Not a mediocre boy who can barely take care of himself.
Not a self centered self absorbed boy who only looks for his own benefit.
Not a weak boy who can’t handle life’s challenges.

Don’t pick a boy.
Pick a Man.
And remember looks may be deceiving. From afar, a boy may look like a man. You’ll have to be discerning…

A man will want you for eternity.
He will want you to be his,
Not to own,
But to keep.

A man will not ask to borrow…
Not your body.
Nor your heart.

A man will honor you
Cherish you
Protect you.

A man will want you by his side always.
And because he’s your man, there’s nowhere you’ll rather be.

A man will promise you his life.
He will love you better than you can love yourself.

A man will be strong yet gentle.
He will be wise but never cease to learn.

And you. You can be the woman this man’s heart desires.

Not a foolish girl who wastes her mind.
Not a foolish girl who defiles her body.
Not a foolish girl who loans out her heart.

Just as you must wait for a boy to transform into a man (beware some never do), you must be patient and nurture the girl you are so she can blossom into a woman.

A woman who will want him for eternity.
Who will want to be his,
Not owned,
But adored.

A woman who will give her all…
All her body.
All her heart.

A woman who will honor him
Cherish him
Respect him.

A woman who will keep him by her side always and make it so there’s no place he’ll rather be.

A woman who will be strong yet gentle.
Who will be wise but never cease to learn.

A woman who will not take selfishly
But give generously.

A woman who will love him better than he can love himself.

And you. You can be the woman who waits for the Man her heart truly desires.

Not a foolish girl who cares only about herself.
Not a foolish girl who’s shallow inside.
Not a foolish girl who only thinks of today and spoils her tomorrows.
Foolish girls end up alone.

This is what I imagine.

A woman and her man.
A man and his woman.
You!

This is what I imagine.

A woman and a man.
Joined. Hearts, minds and bodies.
You build each other up.
You advance through life. Together.
You are stronger. Together.
You are better. Together.
You are happier. Together.

You are together. Forever.


Next week’s essay is titled:”My best laid plans”. Subscribe using the widget below and it will magically appear in your inbox once it’s published. But do check your Junk folder if it’s not there 🙂

Don’t miss a post!