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Essay 60: The clock’s ticking

Last Wednesday, I started my Mommy day off with a wonderful yoga class. Afterwards I hopped in the car to grab lunch. I was stopped at a red light when I heard a loud crashing noise. Looking in my rearview mirror, I saw a girl and her moped trapped under a van. She was on all fours, obviously stuck under crushed metal. (She had a helmet on.)
People were on the scene helping; I drove on knowing that I could provide nothing more.

I parked five minutes later. My heart was beating fast and I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I called my husband, my sounding board, my rock. I related the incident and we talked about the mysteries of Life.

Life is weird.
One day you’re alive. The next you’re dead.
One minute you’re driving down the road on your way to the mall, or the beach, or the dentist’s office. The next, you’re stuck under the wheels of a vehicle or you get hit by a bus and your heart stops working. Just like that.

How can we make sense of it?
How much can we invest in life knowing that it all gets taken away in the end?
What’s the point?

These are big questions and I don’t have the answers.
The only truth I come back to is that: only Love truly matters.

We don’t know how much time we have on Earth. The only thing that remains in our control is how we choose to use the time we do have.
How do we choose to behave regardless of our circumstances?
How do we choose to treat the people around us?

How we make people feel will stay with them long after we’re gone.
The only way to live forever is to be forever remembered.

What memories will I leave to those who stay behind?

Each night, I kiss my daughter and tell her I love her for I may not get to wake up the next morning.
Each morning, I am thankful that my heart held on. I’ve got one more day: my present.

Anytime I drive away from home, I look my husband in the eyes and tell him I love him for I may not get to come back. I make sure that my parting words are worth holding on to for they may be my last words.

When a problem arises, when a setback occurs, when the app on my phone is buggy, when the customer service rep puts me on hold for the 25th time, I can take a deep breath and not let it ruin the moment; because that’s all I have; that moment. A fleeting moment…

Life is weird.
One day you’re alive. The next you’re dead.
The clock’s ticking.
That hourglass is irreversible.

Second by second. Minute by minute.
One moment at a time. And the next… if you are so blessed.

You can choose to freak out about it or you can choose to play by the strange rules of the game. It’s rigged anyway. There’s only one possible outcome for every single player.

There’s no getting around the dying part.
There’s only giving our best shot to the living part.
It would be silly to take it too seriously.
Let’s have fun with it.
Let’s be kind to the other participants.
Let’s savor it and make it last as long as possible.

So put the phone down. Log out of Facebook. Look into the people’s faces. Smile.
Look at the sky. Feel the breeze.

Go make love!

I truly believe that’s the only way to win that game: to love and be loved.

“It’s amazing Molly. The love inside, you take it with you.”
Sam- (played by Patrick Swayze in the movie Ghost)


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