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Essay 4: On turning 40 years old

One more week to the big 4.0.
I am grateful to have yet another birthday to celebrate. I am so proud of who I am right now at 39. From where I stand, 40 looks great. Never in a million years would 20 year old me have imagined this version of herself. I am not just twice her age. I am twice the woman she was and so much more than she ever dreamed of being. I read. I learned. I applied. I tried. I failed and tried again. I researched. I read again. I looked inside myself and went to work. I read some more. I am still not perfect. But where perfection was the goal in my twenties, two decades later, I delight in my imperfection. I celebrate progress. I go for improvement. Perfect is forever more out of the picture. How liberating.
Freedom is my birthday gift!

I revel in my womanhood. I finally love my 5’3″ body the way it is and have stopped wishing for the long and lean legs of a super model. I am confident in my style. I respect my own intelligence. I’ve created a life of my own design in America, the greatest country on Earth. (I’ve lived in a few and visited many more so trust me on this one). I delight in an 18 year marriage that is still thriving and we are raising a wonderful daughter in our terms.
Happiness is my birthday gift!

I want 40 and beyond to see me extend towards my full potential.
I want to conquer the fears that still hold me back sometimes.
I want to allow myself to go for BIG dreams AND remember to appreciate all the small blessings of life: the blue sky, the warm breeze, and yes the rainy days too.

What kind of 40 year old will I be?
This, today more than ever, I know, I get to decide. Even though Life calls most of the shots, I decide whether to run after the ball and play the game, stand still and do nothing or worse yet, let it hit me and take me down.
And boy, do I want to play!

Happy Birthday to me!
See you at the Game 😉


How did you feel when your turned 40? How do you hope it will be if you’re not there yet? Share in the comment section below.

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2 thoughts on “Essay 4: On turning 40 years old

  1. I feel shocked that I am turning 40 next month. It is the age that my mother looked back over the dissatisfying parts of her first 40 years and made big changes to improve the second. She left a very controlling church, finished her teaching credential (and went on to get a masters and administrative credential befor retiring), started wearing makeup again, started spending money on herself. It is, in my mind, a half way point where one can look backwards and make changes for the second half.

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